Golf Jokes

Wife's Diary:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.  We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner.  I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.  Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk.  He agreed, but he didn't say much.

I asked him what was wrong.  He said, 'Nothing.'  I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.  He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.  On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving.

I can't explain his behavior.  I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'  When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.  He just sat there quietly, and watched TV.  He continued to seem distant and absent.  Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.  About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.  But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else.  He fell asleep.  I cried.  I don't know what to do.  I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.  My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary:

A four putt – how on earth could I four putt?

The Golf Swing, Simplified:

The Old Golfer

Toward the end of the Sunday church service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?" 80% held up their hands.  The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf.  It's good to see you here today.  Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any" he replied gruffly.

"Mr Barnes, that is very unusual.  How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight" he replied.  The congregation stood up and clapped.

"Mr Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all of them."

A selection of golf cartoons may be found here.

Many more golf jokes - - -

A full selection of golf jokes can be found here and here.